Separation Anxiety in Dogs: What It Is and How to Help
If you’ve ever come home to chewed skirting boards, a puddle by the door or an upset neighbour complaining about barking, you’ll know how stressful separation anxiety can be. Your dog isn’t being “naughty” or trying to get back at you. Separation anxiety is all about fear and worry when your dog is left alone.
What Separation Anxiety Looks Like
Dogs with separation anxiety can show it in lots of different ways. Some common signs are:
- Barking, whining or howling when alone in the house.
- Chewing doors, furniture or scratching at windows.
- Having accidents indoors, even if they’re normally housetrained.
- Pacing, panting, or drooling when left alone.
- Trying to escape – sometimes even hurting themselves in the process.
You might also notice your dog becoming anxious before you even leave, like when you pick up your keys or put on your shoes.
How It Affects Dogs (and You!)
For dogs, separation anxiety is really hard – they spend their time alone in a state of panic rather than relaxing. For us owners, it can feel overwhelming, constant complaints from neighbours, damage at home, and the guilt of knowing your dog is upset. Many people tell me they feel trapped, not able to pop to the shops or go out for dinner without worrying.
The good news? It can get better.
Why Some Dogs Struggle with Being Left Alone
There isn’t always a clear reason. Some dogs develop it after big changes, like moving house, a family member leaving, or after spending lots of time together (a common occurrence during lockdown). Rescue dogs can be more vulnerable, especially if they’ve had several homes. Or maybe they once had a bad experience when they were home alone, such as being spooked by a loud noise, and they are fearful of it happening again.
Helping a Dog with Separation Anxiety
The key to helping your dog is to make sure that you aren’t creating a vicious cycle where they are repeatedly upset when you are out and to go at their pace as you build their tolerance to being alone.
1. Start Small and Build Up
You need to teach your dog that being alone is safe. That might mean starting with literally a few seconds of you stepping outside, and then building up very gradually. The trick is to come back before your dog panics, so they learn being left is no big deal.
2. Be unpredictable in your absence times
As you start to increase the time that they are alone, break it up with shorter absences between longer ones so that they don’t expect that you’ll always be away for longer and longer periods.
3. Make it boring
Come and go so frequently that it becomes a non-event. No need to worry, no need to pay much attention, they’ll be back in a minute, they do this all the time.
4. Get Professional Support
Separation anxiety can be tough to crack alone. A qualified behaviourist can create a plan that’s tailored to your dog.
What Not to Do
It’s really important not to punish a dog with separation anxiety. Telling them off when you get home won’t stop it happening again – it just adds more fear into the mix. Compassion and patience go a lot further.
Final Thoughts
Separation anxiety isn’t easy, but it’s also not forever. With time, training, and the right approach, dogs can learn to relax when left alone and owners can finally feel they’ve got their lives back too.
If your dog struggles, you’re definitely not the only one. Reach out for support if you need it, and remember: this is about fear, not misbehaviour. With kindness and consistency, things really can change.
